Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mother's Day Is For All of Us, All of You ~ Whether You Are A Mother Or Not, Whether You Have A Child Or Not

This is a Mother's Day Message for all the mother's out there and there are many of you and many different kinds of mothers. I feel that Mother's Day is heavily marketed in a stereotypical way...it is exclusive and singular. It leaves a lot of women feeling like this holiday is not for them and they feel left out, unseen, and forgotten. If you are one of those women, I want to include you.

For those of you who are mothers right now, I wish you a happy mother's day and hope you will be able to spend the day with your loved ones. I also wish you time and serenity to reflect on your mothering and to grow in confidence as a loving, nurturing steadfast guide for your children. When I was a new mother, I had confidence in certain areas of my mothering, not so much confidence in others. It was important that I took some time to reflect on the areas of my mothering in which I needed to grow and evolve. Mother's Day is a great reminder for us to do this.

And for all the experienced mothers out there, I wish you a day of gratitude and loving pride for all that you have accomplished, often unseen and unnoticed, as a mother.

For those of you whose mothers have crossed over to Heaven, I wish you a Mother's Day of peace and sanctuary in your memories of her. I am sure you know and feel that she is still with you caring for and loving you throughout your days. You might feel that there isn't an appropriate greeting for you on this holiday nor one you can send to your own mother anymore. But this holiday is most definitely for you in your mother's honor. I hope you will be able to find a way to recognize her that is satisfying and loving to you.

For those of you who wish to be a mother but that day has not yet come, I wish you opportunities to think about what kind of mother you would like to be, to really plan for that and to make it a real and conscious part of your awareness. And I wish you success in becoming that mother.

And for those of you whose life path painfully does not allow you to be a mother despite your prayers, desire and efforts, I feel that Mother's Day is a holiday for you, too, because you have mother love in your heart and that is something to celebrate, honor and cherish.

This message is also for those of you who choose not to be a mother. I would like to thank you for all of the support, caring and understanding you have given to your own mother as well as to other mothers and their children. Your assistance means so much and it is greatly appreciated.

For single mothers, this holiday is most certainly for you. I wish you time on this day for self-care, relaxation, and rejuvenation. of course, I know that all mothers need this! But I also wish the single mothers an extra dose of continued resolve, resiliency and strength because you are doing it all alone. For this, I want to also wish you companionship and support. I understand your journey.

For all of the mothers with an empty nest I hope you will be able to spend time or communicate with your children and feel their love for you and to express yours for them.

Grandmothers and great-grandmothers and godmothers ~ thank you for your timelessness, your wisdom, your experience, and for teaching the new mothers.

Happy Mother's Day also for all of the adoptive mothers, foster mothers, and step-mothers. The generosity and expanse of your heart is amazing. The world needs mothers. And you have stepped in to fill this need. I personally know adoptive mothers, foster mothers, and step-mothers and I see how their particular roles as mothers are layered with complexity beyond what I could imagine in my own life. To me you have huge hearts capable of so much unconditional love.

This message also goes out to all of you who have had the painful experience of child loss whether to miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal loss, or another untimely death that meant you had to lose your child. I understand your pain on this day. I wish you time to reflect on and to celebrate the gifts of the heart your child surely brought to you. If you lost a one and only child, you might wonder if this holiday is for you since you don't have any living children. It is. You are a mother whose child is in Heaven. There isn't a Hallmark card for this and you might not want a "Happy Mother's Day" greeting. But I honor you and your child on this day. I know you.

Mother's Day is also for all the aunts, cousins, nieces, sisters, caregivers, nannies, housekeepers, coaches, tutors, counselors and teachers...for each of you have also offered your mothering in a myriad of ways. Thank you for the gifts of your heart to children everywhere.

I also want to acknowledge those of you who lost your mother at an early age because this meant that when you were still a child you became a mother -- to yourself and possibly some siblings. For you in particular, I honor the mother you became early in your life and again now if you have children of your own. You are a very special person on this planet. Never forget that you are strong beyond anyone's imagination and that your heart and spirit are filled with grace for what you have endured.

And for any mother who is separated from her children due to incarceration, war, poverty, substance abuse, homelessness or estrangement, I wish you a speedy reunion that is full of reconciliation, recognition, and endless love so that the Mother-Child bond can grow and prosper between you.

I am sure that there are many other kinds of mothers I did not mention in this post. I did not intend to forget or overlook you. If I did, I apologize and I wish you a Mother's Day that is joyous in a special way for you.

Mother's Day is For All of Us and All of You...whether you are a mother or not, whether you have a child or not...because Love is Eternal and Mother's Day is about loving and caring for another. Blessings to all of you and your loved ones wherever they may be on Mother's Day and always. Celebrate and honor all of the mother love you have in your heart!

Photo Caption: My beautiful mother and I. Her name is Iris and she is 87. She grew up motherless but became one of the best mothers on the planet. Thank you, Mom. I love you.



3 comments:

  1. Thank You Kendra. That was beautiful, brought me to tears and also helps me to recognize those in my own "life" that I should recognize tomorrow. I will spend my day with my own MOTHER, singing her praises for the strong, kind, gentle spirit that she is. Happy Mother's Day!!

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  2. Seeing this post was so synchronous for me! I had just been remembering the gift that a friend gave me of my first Mother's Day...

    While I have two children (young adults) now, my 20's were a time when I experienced a total of 12 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy that led to a near death experience. The doctors told me that I would never be able to carry full term; never have a child of my own to hold.

    The undercurrent of my life then was a grief that only I seemed capable of understanding, and each Mother's Day left my soul feeling raw with pain. Until the one Mother's Day when a friend visited me with a homemade card and small gift, wishing ME a happy Mother's Day and saying "You are one of the most deserving mothers I know."

    Such a huge, life altering, healing and blessed gift she gave me that day! It forever eased my grief and made my losses so much easier to bear.

    Your post is a gift to me and to everyone who reads it. Thank you for the wisdom and love that shines through every word. You are amazing!!

    @Hyacinths4

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  3. This is beautiful Kendra and such a gift to all who read it. As someone who chose not to have children and whose mother is long dead, this was the 1st time I ever felt included in this holiday. I did write a Mother's Day post this year--about the animal world, of course!

    http://greenmeditations.com/a-mother-might-be-whoever-fixes-breakfast

    Hope you had a great day.

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